Healthy Care Journal
My Weight Loss Journey - How I Lost 100 Pounds. 
Written by Becky on Oct. 17th 2020
Today, I’m 100 pounds lighter than I was when I started my weight loss journey.
My story is not one of overnight success. My results were not from a fad diet or a product from an infomercial. My journey has been more like a roller coaster ride of trials, many errors, and a collection of small milestones along the way, eventually leading to more than I ever expected to gain.

I was an unhappy girl with no self-esteem, trapped beneath baggy t-shirt and stretchy jeans and desperate to lose weight to just be normal. I had no idea that it would turn into a journey of self-discovery, freedom, and finding joy.

Oh yeah, and 100-pound weight loss.
Diets I Tried On My Weight Loss Journey
Over many years of trying to lose weight, I tried a lot of different weight loss diets, programs, and even some gimmicks.

I wish I had been blogging while I’d been on all of them, but I tried many of them when I was quite young, so there is no written record of my experience.

Here are just a few of the many things I tried:

Slim Fast
The Whole 30
Weight Watchers
Ab belts
Stomach shrinking wraps
Calorie counting
Skipping meals
Go to gym
There was so much trial and error (a LOT of error).
I loved junk food, watching TV, and being as lazy as possible, so as appealing as the extreme diets were, they never stuck.

For me, the key to success was one small change at a time.

Going from soda to lemonade. Then to light lemonade, flavored water, fruit infused water, and finally plain water.

Going from no vegetables to hiding vegetables to a few microwaved frozen vegetables then learning to cook fresh vegetables and now I pack my meals full of vegetables.

I could give you hundreds of examples of one small change at work in my life.

Every diet I tried or exercise program I joined, I learned something from it that I carried on with me to create a healthy lifestyle I genuinely love living.
Growing Up As The Fat Kid
was a cute kid. A really, really cute kid (that’s me being cute in between my two older sisters in the picture below)….until 1st grade.

 That’s when I started to become the chubby kid.
And then I became the fat kid (that’s me on the bottom right in the huge blue poncho).
I don’t really know why I started overeating in the first place.
Maybe because I was a daddy’s girl and I wanted to keep up with his portions to be just like him.
Possibly because I was stubborn and knew my mother wanted to eat healthily, so I rebelled by sneaking junk food.
Perhaps I just really loved food (and still do!). On the day after I was born, my mom wrote, “It seems like you just want to eat ALL the time!” <- Yup.

Whatever the reason, I started overeating and just couldn’t stop.

I remember my grandmother making a comment once about how shocked she was that I could eat so many slices of pizza.

And I remember feeling proud of being able to do so.

I loved junk food and would sneak into the kitchen late at night and find the unhealthiest food my mom had hiding in the kitchen…and I’d eat it all in one sitting.

Whether it was a box of Nutty Bars, a bag of chips, or some really delicious leftovers, I’d devour them.

Food (more specifically, junk food) was a precious commodity to me. When it was there, I felt like it was a resource that could run out at any given time, so I had to eat it all as fast as possible before someone else dared to try it themselves and leave less for me.

I was pretty much like Joey from Friends. “Becky does not share food!“

Confession – sometimes I still feel like that.
My mother was (and still is) a fantastic cook. She always made a ton of flavorful, healthy, homemade meals, but I never appreciated them.

I was always begging for processed foods, prepackaged foods, and fast food.

I would have taken a Lunchable over a sandwich any day and wished I could live off of donuts, tater tots, and cupcakes.

I vividly remember wishing someone would replace all water fountains with Kool-Aid fountains (fun fact – I didn’t start liking plain water until I was 27 years old).
I Really Hated Exercise

In middle school, I played volleyball, which helped to keep my weight in check at least a little bit.

I loved the actual game and even made the A team, but I hated the running.

I was always the slowest, I always finished last, huffing and puffing, needing tons of walk breaks, even just during the warm-up laps. I could block, bump, and spike like nobody’s business, but I remember always feeling second best because I was the girl who had to take the highest number of uniform because the numbers correlated to the size.

High number = big uniform.

It was like my weight was being announced to everyone, wearing my shame on the outside.

I played tennis from my freshman through junior year of high school and, again, really enjoyed the sport, but abhorred the running. Our coach was a middle-aged guy who could run circles around me. The entire team would have finished their laps around the field, while I was still stumbling along next to the (also middle-aged) assistant coach, who I’m quite sure they sent in as an attempt to get me to run faster.

It was ineffective.

But because of the regular exercise, I did start losing some weight.
The Freshman 15 In Reverse
When I went off to college in 2004, I was actually able to reverse the freshman 15.

Because the rec center was just across a field from my dorm, there was a time that I was going over there twice a day to swim or lift weights or hop on the elliptical and I was taking full advantage of the salad bar in the cafeteria.

I probably could have dropped a lot more weight, but I was still ordering late-night pizza with my dorm-mates and keeping our room’s mini-fridge stocked with cookie dough and soda.
When I moved out of the dorms and off campus (away from the rec center) the next year, I slowly started gaining weight back.

I’d exercise occasionally and kind of try to watch what I ate, but I didn’t really know how to cook, so I mostly stuck with boxed options.

Macaroni and cheese and Hamburger Helper are not the ideal meals for weight loss and after I’d regained those pounds, they stayed.

And stayed.

Until late 2007.
When I moved out of the dorms and off campus (away from the rec center) the next year, I slowly started gaining weight back.

I’d exercise occasionally and kind of try to watch what I ate, but I didn’t really know how to cook, so I mostly stuck with boxed options.

Macaroni and cheese and Hamburger Helper are not the ideal meals for weight loss and after I’d regained those pounds, they stayed.

And stayed.

Until late 2007.
The Opposite Extreme
That year, I fell in love.

We dated, we got engaged, and then he was deployed, and I lived in a constant state of stress.

I drifted to the other extreme of unhealthy weight loss.

I was miserable. I thought worrying was the only thing I could offer at that point and since I couldn’t control what was going on overseas, I decided to control my eating. I was living alone and, for most that year, I probably ate between 500-800 calories a day.

I was hungry a lot, not exercising at all, had no energy, and my stomach was constantly in knots, but I lost 40 pounds, bringing me down to 160. That was the lightest I’d been since I could remember (literally. I obviously had to have been 160 pounds at some point in my life as I was gaining the weight, but I have no idea when that was).
Unhealthy Relationship, Unhealthy Body

The deployment ended, he came home, and we got married. I was ready for a blissful honeymoon stage, but it was not a happy or a healthy marriage.

I didn’t know it at the time, but my deep insecurities from being the fat kid mixed with that desperation for attention from guys had led me into an emotionally abusive marriage.

My weight loss journey spiraled down and my weight shot up once again.

We a lot of fast food, rarely exercised because we were glued to our TV and computer screens, and the stress of the constant conflict between us was nearly unbearable (especially for this people-pleasing, peace-loving girl!), so I started gaining the weight back quickly.

And then I kept gaining.

And gaining.

Until January 2012. I was 194 pounds and was terrified of creeping back up into the 200’s.
The Year Everything Changed

After a rough start to the year with a devastating divorce, 2014 became one of the most influential years of my life (and my weight loss journey).

That was the year that all of the pieces of healthy habits that I had been building over the years finally fell into place.

So, I joined a gym.

I was really only comfortable using the elliptical. I was too scared to try any of the classes offered and the weight machines were just intimidating. Gym people always seem to know what they’re doing and I just…didn’t.

A person watching me exercise was. the. worst.

Mostly because I was so weak that I struggled with a lot of the exercises she gave me and as sweet as this girl was, she continuously expressed how surprised she was at how little I could lift/push/squat/whatever else. Even though I was still 55 pounds less than my heaviest, I felt completely inadequate and just wanted to hide.
Oh, How I Love Food (Apparently Healthy Food, Too! Who Knew?)
Even Though It’s About The Weight, It’s Not Really About The Weight
It’s really not even about my goal weight anymore.

It’s about freedom.

I’m doing things I never thought I was capable of. It’s about being healthy and active and taking care of myself so that I can build the life I want to live. It’s about chasing my niece and nephew and running 5ks with my friends.

It’s about seizing the day, instead of trying to hide, hoping no one will notice me.

It’s about being confident in who I’ve become and embracing both my strengths and my weaknesses.

Instead of being scared to try new things, I’m eager to take advantage of new experiences. It’s about making good choices most of the time when it comes to both movement and nutrition, but not being a slave to counting calories or forbidding foods from my diet.

I would never have believed it if you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be the girl choosing salmon and barley over a burger and french fries, but I did just that the other night.
P.S. Thank you for reading my story...

I hope you will enjoy my journey: )

Your friend:

About Me: 

I’m Becky – writer, health coach, salted caramel addict, runner, eternal optimist, joy-seeker, and encourager.

I'm just an average Jesus-loving girl who has lost 100 pounds and enjoys helping women live a healthier life - heart, mind, body, & soul. 
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